THERE have been several defining moments in my newly single life that have not been oh so ‘single and fabulous’. Like, completely sucked. There have also been many life defining, self-discovery, Eat-Prey-Love moments that have changed my perspective on the person I am.
This article is not about those.
I want to talk about the moments when you realise that you’re really alone and offer a community service to take the sting out. Hell, I want to laugh about them with you. But at the very least, I want to prepare you in a way that I never was.
1. Concert tickets
As if single life isn’t hard enough, now you have to constantly miss seeing the Foo Fighters because your friend Beth has already seen them! BOO. Long gone is the opportunity to just buy two tickets, knowing you will have/force your beloved to see T Swift with you. Sigh.
2. Party Invitations
Oh dear lord, how low my heart sank when I saw my name ‘Stacey’ in italics on the front of an envelope to an engagement party. The font looked so small and the envelope looked so big. However, it wasn’t nearly as awful as when my friend Sarah received an invite after she broke up with her man, which read ‘Sarah and Jody’.
Jody is her sister.
3. Family occasions turn into investigations
Of your love life! How quickly the family forgets about the guy you were with for three years and owned a house with. Now, all they want to hear about is the silver fox in your recent facebook photo album. Ah, Aunty Julie, it’s my yoga teacher and he is gay.
4. Friendships with guys all of a sudden get really confusing
You are available. Before you weren’t. He is available. Therefore, you both have the option to kiss, heck; you could do more than kiss on a Wednesday night if you wanted. What does this all mean??????
5. Say goodbye to Smooth FM / Heartbreak FM
The station you listen to as your secret belt out, singalong on your late night drive home. They are all love ballads. It’s just not worth it guys.
6. You start to get a little angry at weddings
Before, I would analyse the flower arrangements as inspiration, for, you know, my wedding. But now I can’t stop thinking about $1200 that you will spend this year alone on friend’s hens, wedding gifts and destination weddings. Ugh.
7. Falling ill
This could take the cake as being the biggest shock of becoming a new singleton and I must admit I owe a few of my single pals an apology. Because when you are single, a cold is not just a runny nose. Your symptoms are much worse. A single-person-cold has different symptoms. Like … a constant reminder that no one will cook for you or no one to laugh at you when you have tissues stuffed up your nose and look like a walrus.
8. It took me six months to deal with my Sundays
Everyone has THAT night of the week that worked as a date night. A lovey dovey night. A night in your trackies. Mine even included an Oreo Mc Flurry. Say no more.
But, don’t curl under your donna and shut the world away! The next point shows you it isn’t all bleak!
9. The best part
The moment you realise that even though you’re now technically alone, you never feel as alone as you felt when you were unhappy in your relationship. This means you have made the right move! Go you! Now go grab some fro-yo.
But, seriously. Use this as ammo to not drunk dial your ex and hook up for old time’s sake.
These are all challenging moments initially but as Kelly Clarkson sang; “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, and if you go back to her first album you wouldn’t think she would be happily married and pregnant with her second child now would you?
It is worth it.