Stace felt very nervous, confronted and exposed to bring up something on the show that she’s never really publicly addressed on or off air.
Last night while talking with a friend, a question about ‘your biggest vice’ was brought up, and she knew straight away what the answer was. Her car and the road.
Stace has confessed that she has a real issue respecting authority when it comes to the road, and this goes back over a decade.
She’s spent tens of thousands of dollars and still tries to continue to justify why speeding, parking in the wrong place or being on her phone in her car is okay.
Over the last few weeks, Stace started putting her bag in the boot where it can’t distract her, and it’s been working well for her until today, when she accidentally had it next to her on the passenger seat while on her way to work.
While was texting on her phone, Stace heard a siren, was pulled over and fined… again. She was late to work, and it’s going to cost her hundreds on top of the thousands that are already on a payment plan.
When the f*ck are you going to get this? When are you going to stop doing this?
It’s obviously not clicking for Stace, so we asked our listeners for their help. When nothing is getting through, can you help stacey before it’s too late? Here’s what they had to say.
I think you need to take control of your life in a way. You’re letting your mobile phone run your life. It’s an inanimate object and it’s making you answer the phone or text while you’re driving. I think you need to have a bit more self control. You don’t like being told what to do by anyone or anything, So why is this doing it to you?
I think there’s two things that she should certainly consider doing. One is definitely to go and do a defensive driver course. I’ve done one myself and it really opened my eyes as a P plater to times and tolerances. Going 5kms over the limit and learning what a difference that makes. It just takes that split second, you look down at your phone and all of a sudden someone has walked out in front of you, or the car in front of you stops. There are all of those different scenarios and in that one second that you’ve been looking away, you could have prevented an accident. I think that course will highlight the importance of not being on your phone, and I think that if that first step doesn’t actually help, maybe you need to go to the absolute extreme and go to visit some road trauma patients in hospital. Talk to them, see what they’ve gone through and understand how important and vital it is not to be on your phone.
There’s a program that I did while I was in late secondary school, it’s run for 16 to 25 year olds at the RPA hospital. It’s called the PARTY program, which stands for Prevent Alcohol and Risk-Related Trauma in Youth. It’s overwhelmingly women who have a problem with texting in the car, and in the program we spoke to a woman who was unfortunately texting while driving. You’re not really concentrating on the car while you’re on your phone, and she veered off the road and was in intensive care for an injury herself, but she hit a mother and her baby, the baby died and the mother was critically injured, the mother had another child as well. We spoke to the girl, and it was incredibly hard for her to get up and talk to a bunch of teenagers about what she’d done, but going to visit the real people definitely hit home. We had parents of other patients come in who had either died or were critically injured. You don’t forget what it looks like on a parents face who has experienced that.
Peter from the Accident Research Centre at Monash University called in to offer Stace some more advice.
I think it’s a good thing that you’ve reached out and gone public with the problem you have. Without knowing too much about what’s gone on over the last decade, it’s probably fair to say that the way that you drive is the way in which you live; disregard for rules more generally. I don’t want to be typecasting and stereotyping but we tend to find that with research on people who misbehave on the road and put themselves and others at risk – That’s pretty much how they live their lives.
Stace has been like that in many parts of her life. She acted out from all kinds of things in her childhood, but feels that over the years, everything has changed except this one thing that has stuck.
After a decade of this behaviour the message hasn’t gotten through, and the regulations and the conditions under which you drive in New South Wales are clearly not impacting on you. It’s probably because you don’t actually suffer any real consequences for each time that you misbehave on the road. More often than not, you manage to talk on the phone or text while you drive without any consequence.
I’d hate to see that the thing that really makes you learn is when you clean somebody up in your car and injure someone or yourself, but a bit more importantly, I think what you need to do is step back and ask: “How am I living my life more generally? Am I time poor? Am I under stress? Am I not happy about being disconnected from communications and social media and the like? Why is it that i’m behaving this way and not respecting authority in the process?”
You can hear the full chat with Stace, Peter and our callers here: