Making friends as an adult is isn’t easy. Actually scrap that…it’s offing TOUGH! Especially when you’re a chick.
With the launch of the ‘Posse Podcast’ (a weekly chat with a celeb guest where the girls delve into a question / concern sent in from the #TGPosse) The Thinkergirls realised they were defs not alone in the s-t-ruggle to make adult mates.
So when #TGposse member Anna wrote in with this banger –
Stace & Kristie knew just the lady to help a sister out…comedian / radio host / online sensation Tanya Hennessy – who has spoken at length about her journey to make mates as an adult you can see more of here.
On EP07 on The Thinkergirls Pod Channel, Tanya broke it down and gave some advice as to hoooowwwww?! Which she confirmed has toats worked for her.
1.) Go to a Dance Class – ‘it’s a controlled environment’ says Tanya where you get to talk at the star and the end, as well as chatting to the teacher. Plus EVERYONE is feeling vulnerable, so you won’t be alone in that
2.) Make friends with the dude’s you work with’s wives – if there’s a dude you really rate at work and he has a wife / gf, chances are…she’ll be pretty cool too right?! Be open to using that friendship you have with your male colleagues – because sure Tom in finance might be a good guy, but do you really wanna go fishing with him on the weekend? Yeah nah, you wanna get a coffee & a pedi with his GF instead. So don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and lean on the men you spend 9-5 with.
3.) Tell people you’re open to making new friends – in fact, shout it from the bloody rooftops! Sometimes it can feel like nobody cares / is interested in helping you meet new people and form new connections, but you have to remind yourself that people are busy! And also – they’re not mind-readers, unless you’re explicitly communicating with people that you’re open to making mates and really creating a network for yourself, how are they supposed to know? Being vulnerable can be scary, admitting that you have space in your life for new friends can be daunting – but think of the possible results! Once you’ve vocalised it to the people / colleagues around you, they’ll be way more likely to chuck you a FB invite to their upcoming barbie.
4.) Lean on the people you already spend time with AKA your beauty therapist – think about it…you already have a baseline with your nail lady / spray tanner / hairdresser. It’s likely that you’ll catch up every few weeks and they’ll know what’s going on in your life and a bit about your personality, especially if you’ve been going to them for a while. So why not further the relationship by casually asking if they’d be down for a vino sometime at your next appointment? And if that feels a bit daunting – send them a DM on Insta. Just remember, you’re not starting from scratch with these peeps!
5.) Remember that it WILL feel uncomfortable – Stace, Kristie & Tanya all agree that ‘friend dates’ are way harder than romantic ones, because there’s more riding on it. Friendships (especially female ones) are mega important and can provide such a source of support and happiness, and often the best things in life are never a breeze. So don’t feel alone in the nerves of a new friendship. Just remember to be yourself and trust that pushing through a slightly awks first friends date at a cafe might be the beginning of an incredibly fulfilling new bestie that knows and loves you for who you are NOW.
Hear the whole chat with Tanya Hennessy on making adult mates at The Thinkergirls Pod Channel here: